I've decided to compile a list of things I will need to take over the world. Some things are actual objects I can use, others are things that I can use to compile or design those objects.
- At least one SETI satellite dish. As the saying goes, if the going gets tough, invite some aliens along to the party.
- A deep, underground lair. Deep enough to escape any nuclear fallout and formidable enough that I cannot be harmed by an outside force.
- Spore. Yes, you read that right, I need a PC game. Where else can I design my evil creations (creatures, buildings and vehicles) before I manufacture/bioengineer them?
Woopra. How else am I going to follow your every move about my blog (and eventually across my international FireKill(er) internets)?
- Suitably evil but cool-looking costume, possibly with a cape. Every self-respecting super-villain has his own costume with which to intimidate his/her foes.
- A nemesis, preferably of the superhero variety. Everyone needs a nemesis. Whether you're young or old, a guy or a girl, you'll achieve more with a nemesis.
- Minions. Lots and lots of minions! No one can hope to conquer the world (through any means) without minions. They come in all shapes, sizes, persuasions, genders and colours.
- A laser beam weapon of some sort. Nothing beats the destructive power coupled with the inherent coolness factor of a laser beam weapon. Whether you're shining someone in the eye or pulling the moon to Earth, you look cool.
- An evil girlfriend. I know this may seem severely unimportant but an evil counterpart at your side while you're striking down the masses is a great thing to have. Whether it be for moral support or simply for someone to show off your evilness to.
- Sharks with frickin' laser beams! Come on, I had to. No, I really did. It's rule #1 in the super-villain guidebook.
Once I have all these things, you will all tremble in fear! Like, totally...
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i want to have an evil girlfriend too
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