Six menacing towers fit for a supervilain

While we're on the subject of secret lairs, I just found a great blog post featuring six menacing towers fit for a supervillain. When I become your lord and master, I'm going to have to look into the state of these towers after my worldwide 'hostile takeover'. If they're not too badly damaged, I'm going to have to use at least one of these as my base of operations. My favourite by far is definitely the Taipei 101 tower in (you guessed it) Taipei, Taiwan.


I mean, come on, it just screams "Evil HQ". Plus, I'm a big fan of red and any dark colour, so it's a great tower for me. Also, is it just me or does it look an awful lot like Wang's tower in the Xbox 360 game, Crackdown? Which, by the way is a really great game.

A little side note: I've come to realise that I can't really do this whole evil thing alone. I need to step up my evil activities which in turn will give me evil stories to impress the ladies and which in turn will leave me with a lovely lady to make obscenely evil babies with. Otherwise, how else am I going to keep my empire going for as long as possible?
Maybe I'll be lucky and the ladies will come to me. I sincerely doubt it though. After all, I only get somewhere between 2 and 5 hits a day on the blog.

Secret nuclear bunker not really that secret

I may have found a new location for my secret lair and it has all the features I need. It's large, spacious, heavily armoured enough to withstand a nuclear strike, deep underground and perfect for a lair. The only problem is, it's not really that secret.

Evil Plan (TM)

Your objective is simple: World Domination.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Evil - It's my nature

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first clone a military general. This will cause the world to leave, terrified by your arrival. Who is this evil genius? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in a supervillain costume with gimmicks?

Stage Two

Next, you must seize control of the internet. This will all be done from a underground secret headquarters of doom, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will weep uncontrollably, as countless hordes of classic thugs hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must reveal to the world your armies of destruction, bringing about pain, suffering, the usual. Your name shall become synonymous with evil, and no man will ever again dare interrupt your sentences. Everyone will bow before your cunning intelligence, and the world will have no choice but to give you control of the planet.

Created with the Evil Plan Generator.

I've been sabotaged!

I think this might be the end for me. Early yesterday evening I started to feel incredibly ill, with it carrying on to today. I haven't felt this bad in a long time so I have my suspicions on how it started.
While walking around the area yesterday I could have sworn I saw a caped figure following me around every now and then.

Now, this could mean one of two things;

• I have a rival, in which case I need to get back to being healthy as soon as possible.
  
  Or...
  
  
• I actually am ill and I was hallucinating.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go pass out.

Mercenaries 2: Venezuela Supervillain Training

Image by csullens via FlickrI recently added the Xbox 360 game Mercenaries 2 to my gaming collection. And while I think I might need to hire an exterminator as a result of all the bugs and glitches in the game, I came to realise that it could actually work as a pretty decent simulation of how to invade a small section of Venezuela.

Of course, it's somewhat lacking in the super-villain department as you're only able to play as either a British, American or Swedish mercenary. That said, you are able to buy new weapon drops such as artillery strikes, bunker busters, etc. Which would come in handy when I eventually end up taking on Venezuela.
All the game needs is a secret underground lair and some death rays and it'll be the perfect super-villain training programme for invading Venezuela.

Speaking of taking on Venezuela, I need to figure out which order I should take on the major countries when I finally get around to taking over the world. The USA would definitely be first though, they tend to get involved in almost every war there is so if I'll have to fight them eventually I might as well take them on first.

Haiku Monday

While I'm thinking up some new plans, I thought I'd have a go at writing some evil haikus. Never tried it before but the minute I let things conquer me is the minute I stop conquering the world.

That sounded better in my head.

Looking so evil,
Thinking up evil ideas,
Can't get more evil.

Being evil is,
Quite awesome but sometimes so,
So very lonely

Weapon plans swirling,
Around my large, pulsing brain,
Great one coming up

Feel free to submit some other evil-themes haikus in the comments. Yours might even be better than mine. *cough*Asifthat'spossible*cough*

Some additions to my top 10 world take over list

Some honourable mentions to add to my top 10 world take over list thanks to Nigel Cooke (supplier of the SETI image).

• An over the top evil name. I've mostly got this down but any evil villain, super or not, needs an over the top evil name. How else are you going to make someone underestimate you so you can then easily crush them like a bug?
• An evil catchphrase. You're not an evil villain if you don't have an evil catch phrase. Personally I am still working on mine, but when I get one you'll all fear the very mention (however slight) of it.

If you think you can add to this list or feel you can better Nigel's suggestions, feel free to suggest more possible additions in the comments and I may add them to my next list. I'm certain I'll make another one when the need arises.